For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
