Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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