He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
