the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
