Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
