Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
