I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
