Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize