She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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