the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
