I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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