he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You ruined the universe
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
