If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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