I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Four minutes until I can fart!
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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