his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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