if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
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She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
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I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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