The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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