Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
