Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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