I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
