i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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