she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Is it penis luge time yet?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
