It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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