ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize