That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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