Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Randomize
