Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
