the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
