I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
