No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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