I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
