I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
