dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
