We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
