I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
