took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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