My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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