theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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