Sry I called you an 8
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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