Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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