I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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