3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize