You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
