I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
