if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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