yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
