Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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