he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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