just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
