As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
