Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
