Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
