His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
