It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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