omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize