I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize