Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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