Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
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She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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