I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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