hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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