Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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