I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize