I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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