I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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