Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
