My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize