You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
