In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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